Subject: Male Bashing
From: Leo Nikora
When I meet a man, I ask myself, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
--Rita Rudner
God created man, but I could do better
--Erma Bombeck
Talking with a man is like saddling a cow. You work like hell, but what's the point?
--Gladys Upham
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles. -
--Roseanne Barr
When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. -
-- Frederick Ryder
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
-- Quentin Crisp
Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
--Billy Crystal.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
-- Beverly Mickins
Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we may love you instead of laugh at you.
-- Mrs. Patrick Campbell
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
-- Remy de Gourmant
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.
-- H.L. Mencken
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
-- Warren Farrell
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
-- Lyndon B. Johnson
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
-- Carrie Snow
The Lord made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
-- Anonymous
Send comments/contributions: HumorMaster@lipkie.com