Subject: Funniest Headlines of 1996
From: Leo Nikora

Mike Rose wrote:

A Wall Street Journal employee compiled the following list of actual headlines that appeared in various papers in 1996 that the Journal staff rated as the most entertaining:

• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
• British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
• Man Struck By Lightening Faces Battery Charge
• Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
• Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
• Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
• Clinton Wins on Budget; But More Lies Ahead
• Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Axe
• Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• Two Sisters Reunite After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
• Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
• Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

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