Subject: Imponderables and Idiosyncrasies of English
From: puffinn
ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"
WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?
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