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Subject: Our Nursing Home Plans
From: Valerie & Todd Yerkes

No nursing home for us. We're checking into the Holiday Inn! The average
cost for nursing home care is $188 per day, there is a better way when we're
old and feeble. We have checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a
combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per
night. That leaves $138.77 a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any
restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities, and special TV
movies. Plus, they provide a swimming pool, workout room, lounge, and
washer-dryer, free continental breakfast, etc. Most have free toothpaste
and razors, - ALL have free shampoo and soap.

$5 in tips each day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. They
treat you like a customer, not a patient. There is a city bus stop our
front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if
you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a church bus on

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the
nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.
Otherwise the cash keeps building up. It takes months to get into
decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.

You're not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even
from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? There's a Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No
problem! They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks
to see if you are ok. If not, they call an ambulance or the undertaker. If
you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip and Holiday Inn will
upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

No worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you,
and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grand kids can use
the pool. What more can you ask for?

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