Subject: Jose's Holiday Recipe
From: Steven J. Albright
Christmas Cookies 1 cup of water 4 large eggs 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup nuts 1 cup sugar 1 tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar 1/4 cup lemon juice 2 cups dried fruit 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Jose Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Jose Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Jose Cuervo is still OK. Try another cup . . . just in case.
Turn off the miserer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the friggin fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Jose Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups 2 of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
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