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Subject: New Medications for Women Only
From: Roberta Goodnow

From: Wendy Noritake

D A M N I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can

go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. M O M M A'S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers

unconscious for up to two days.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Suppository that eliminates melancholy

and loneliness by reminding you of

how awful they were as teenagers

and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone drink for single women.

Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,

decreases intelligence and prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo,

can cause dangerously low IQ,

resulting in enjoyment of country music

and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters

by controlling road rage

and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent anti-boy-otic for older women.

Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a

better person ...

Can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.

Increases potency, duration

and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man

who can't remember your birthday,

anniversary or phone number.

A N T I - T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet

to be used on anyone too eager to share their life

stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T

When administered to a husband,

provides the same irritation level as nagging

him all weekend, saving the wife the time

and trouble of doing it herself

=====

Wendy Noritake

206-323-0547

wnoritake@yahoo.com

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