From: Michelle Lindell
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
- Who was the first person to see an egg come from a chicken's butt and think, "I'll bet that would be good to eat?
- Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
- If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- What do you call male ballerinas?
- Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
- If Wile Coyote had enough money for all the Acme products, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
- Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
- Did Adam and Eve have navels?
- Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have a 's' in it?
- Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
- Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going?
- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours and cry?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does s/he call?
- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
- When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
- If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
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