Subject: Market Terminology for Dummies
From: Lin, Charlotte

• Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
• Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
• Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.
• P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this market keeps crashing.
• Standard & Poor - Your life in a nutshell.
• Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
• Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
• Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
• Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
• Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.

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