Subject: Employment History
From: Leo Nikora
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it; mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes, but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a gymnasium (workout center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but I found myself in too many shocking situations.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO THEN I RETIRED AND I FOUND THAT I'M ASOLUTELY PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
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