Subject: Rules that guyes wished women knew
From: Peg Malloy

• Crying is blackmail.
• Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
• Don't cut your hair. Ever.
• Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
• Get rid of your cat.
• Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
• Anything you wear is fine. Really.
• Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
• You have too many shoes.
• If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
• Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up put it down.
• Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
• Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
• Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
• A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
• Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
• Sunday = Sports
• If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
• Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
• Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
• You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
• Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
• You have enough clothes.
• Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

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